Hey Ma! This Cherry says Substitute Teachers!

The students turn with murderous looks on their faces, sharpened pencils in hand. The harried teacher races out the door to go to the "urgent staff meeting"....yeah, right. And of course, the poor sub is left facing a group of squirrely, rowdy third graders who don't seem to realize that pencils + rulers do not equal helicopters. Students begin to bounce around the room...the room begins to spin as the poor sub sinks to his knees...it's a substitute teacher's nightmare. I personally don't think they pay our substitute teachers enough money. It's hard enough for the regular teacher who deals with children everyday, knows the children's habits, knows which children are best left alone to their own devices, which need to be watched constantly, and which children are angels in disguise and can be left alone with a sharpened saw without mishap. However, substitute teachers don't have this luxury of background knowledge and are instead left with every question possible. Is Angel really an angel? How did Dominic eat his homework so fast? Why does Marcus keep on banging his desk up with Lucy's head? And how did Rachel end up on the floor bleeding from her index finger?!?!?!??! All these questions a substitute teacher must strive to answer before the end of the day, or else. Mayhem, chaos, and cacophonus sounds are just part of the job description for an average substitute teacher. The minute a sub walks in, children seem to lose their ability to control twitching, yelling, screaming, and various acts of violence. That's why I believe most CIA operatives were once substitute teachers. It takes the same amount of stamina, courage, wits, and flexibility to do both jobs. One job may involve dangerous missions with lots of cool, night vision goggles and classic, black spywear while the other may involve keeping children from smuggling their silverware from the cafeteria to the classroom and managing to poke it in an electrical socket. That's why I admire substitute teachers. They're a tough bunch of cherries, and I honor them. Hey, stop by, read for a while, make your own decisions, leave a comment. I'll appreciate it. And I hope that somewhere, someone is waiting for you with a hilarious story about a crazy sub from their school days.